We have a crisis in America - namely, the lack of good bank branch pictures in the news. Every time the Wall Street Journal, NY Times, CNBC, ABC or other news organizations need a picture of a bank, they show the same mid-town Manhattan Bank of America or Chase branch. In the last month, for example, these two branches appeared in stories on foreclosure problems, overdraft fees, bank earnings and regulation. This is embarrassing.
It is not that there is a lack of supply of branch pictures because, as we are the first to tell you, we are way over-branched in this country. No, the problem is that the demand is high because of all the stories that vilify banks. With 3 or 4 stories a day, news organizations have to go back to the same stock photos and B-reel footage to show a graphic of an evil bank.
Since we fancy ourselves as innovators, we are proud to announce our solution - BancWhippingBoy.com. This online application addresses the tragic shortage of bank pictures. Not only will community bank branches get equal airtime with the mega banks, but news outlets should be able to pin even more problems on banks. This site is cutting edge and easily allows the media to pull up a picture of the average bank branch and quickly alter the picture to fit any crisis the media would like to pin on bankers (see screen shot above) - Brilliant, yes?
The application comes with a set of customization tools to efficiently transform a base photo. Let’s say a news organization is doing a story on compensation. With one simple click of the mouse, the application turns the “S†in Superior Bank into a dollar sign (again, see above). If the story has to do with banks not making enough loans, presto, the application puts a stream of dejected small business owners walking out of the bank branch. For even more realism, users can add a set of golf clubs and a dark tan to the generic CEO. That way he can be seen walking past the dejected business owners, while he hits the links, secure in his knowledge that the taxpayers will be there to bail him out. Through this application, inflation, deflation, immigration, salmonella outbreaks, the Plague, earthquakes, Lindsay Lohan antics and a host of 400 other problems can all easily be attributed to banks, with a supportive graphic to go along with it.
So far, we have seen very strong demand for this product. In addition to the media, the application has taken off with politicians in the face of the November elections.
Stay tuned as we will have another release shortly that allows you to upload pictures of your particular branch and CEO so you can get airtime as well. The next release will also have a random number generator so the press can click on it and find out exactly what banking has cost the taxpayer because it failed to prevent the BP oil spill, the Chilean mine entrapment or yet another addition of Dancing with the Stars.
No need to thank us, just another service from your friendly and thoughtful friends.